Slept So Long
by XLadySnowX
Summary: After Jasper’s death, Alice leaves the Cullens and goes to the Volturi and asks to die. But things don’t really go according to plan, and soon Alice finds herself a member of the Volturi and attracted to their tracker, Demetri… AliceXDemetri. Hiatus.
1. Chapter 1, Sanctity of Sorrow

**Title: **Slept So Long

**Pairings: **

_Main: _Alice**X**Demetri

_Others: _Bella**X**Edward, Rosalie**X**Emmett, Carlisle**X**Esme, Aro**X**Sulpicia, Caius**X**Athenodora, Afton**X**Chelsea

_Implied: _Alice**X**Jasper, Marcus**X**Didyme

**Summary: **After Jasper's death, Alice leaves the Cullens and goes to the Volturi and asks to die. But things don't really go according to plan, and soon Alice finds herself a member of the Volturi and attracted to their tracker, Demetri… but can she love again? What will life be like for her in the Volturi? And what will the Cullens think of all this? AliceXDemetri.

**Full Summary: **Heartbroken by Jasper's death, Alice decides she cannot deal with the pain anymore, and leaves the Cullen family. She wanders the planet aimlessly, having no desire to belong anywhere any more. Finally, it all becomes too much, and Alice's wish to die becomes overwhelming.

Following Edward's suit, positive that no one will be able to stop her, Alice goes to the Volturi and asks to die. But things don't go exactly the way she plans, and soon she finds herself betraying everything she believed in… and becoming a part of the Volturi.

_Yes my summaries suck really bad, but read for me anyway?_

**Warnings: **Character death, smut/lemon, swearing, violence, angst, tragedy, romance, fluff… more to come later.

**Rating: **MA.

**Timeline: **Takes place after New Moon, during Eclipse. Since Jasper dies at the hands of Victoria's army.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Twilight. Unfortunately…! Don't sue!

**Notes: **Alright so basically, the characters are portrayed by the people who play them in the movies. So Ashley Greene is Alice, Charlie Bewley is Demetri, Michael Sheen is Aro, Jackson Rathbone is Jasper, Robert Pattinson is Edward, Kristen Stewart is Bella, etc. if you do not know who any of these people are or who's playing who in New Moon or Twilight head down to google and look it up.

**Author: **Ah… Not sure what to say. Charlie Bewley is sexy; I have to write a story about him getting with Alice. Lemons? Oh yes, there will be lemons. Teehee. I love Jasper and Jackson Rathbone and it kills me to have him dead in his story, but that's the only way Alice will ever be with someone else is if Jasper is dead… so… *sob* Alright, on with the story. Enjoy!

BTW, Melancholy I'm almost ready to post a new chapter, so don't fret, it will be there eventually. I've started this earlier than I would have because I need some practice and I need to push through this God-awful writer's block I'm having. Enjoy! And don't hate me too much. I love you all! Lol.

_Walking, waiting  
Alone without a care  
Hoping and hating  
the things I can't bare  
Did you think it's cool to walk right up  
to take my life and fuck it up?  
Well did you, well did you?_

I see hell in your eyes  
Taken in by surprise  
Touching you makes me feel alive  
Touching you makes me die inside

Walking, waiting  
Alone without a care  
Hoping and hating  
The things I can't bare  
Did ya think it's cool to walk right up  
And take my life and fuck it?  
Well did you?

I hate you!

I've slept so long without you  
It's tearing me apart too  
How did you get this far?  
Playing games with this old heart  
I've killed a million petty souls  
but I couldn't kill you…

_  
I've slept so long with out you_

_**- "Slept So Long", Jonathan Davis of KORN.**_

_**Chapter 1, Sanctity of Sorrow**_

I stared blankly out the window at the rain, my forehead rested gently against the glass. I watched each raindrop as it fell, and for the countless time, I wished I was able to cry. But then again, I wasn't sure there'd be enough tears inside me to express how sad I truly was.

I closed my eyes and searched deep into the abyss of my mind, looking for Jasper's smiling face. But as usual, I shut myself out before I got anywhere close to remembering that. I'd done enough grieving – six months of it – and now it was time to stop. But being in this house was too much.

Every surface reminded me of him. And I just couldn't bear it any longer. Of course I didn't wish to hurt my family – they meant the world to me now. I loved Edward, I loved Bella, I love Rosalie, I loved Emmett, I loved Carlisle and I loved Esme. It would hurt me to leave them, I expected that… but I also expected it would agonize me even more to stay.

With one parting sigh, I turned around and stalked out of the bedroom. But I couldn't resist one last look. Leaning against the door frame, I gazed longingly into the bedroom.

When I was with Jasper, the room was so lively. My clothes were strewn everywhere, my makeup cluttered the table and there were always books _everywhere_. Sometimes, Jasper and I would curl up on the bed together, and pretend to sleep beside each other. It was our way of bonding. It made us feel human. Even if it was just for a few hours. I'd always have music playing too.

But now the room was a dead zone. Everything was too neat, too tidy. Too quiet. Like nobody had ever lived in here at all. I was only going to take a few pieces of clothing and jewelry – things I wasn't quite ready to let go of just yet. But they were already packed in the trunk of my car.

My eyes prickled and I wanted to cry. I envied Bella and her ability to shed tears. Closing my eyes and exhaling another poignant and quiet sigh, I switched the light off and made my way down stairs.

Everyone was as silent as my room when I got downstairs. Rosalie was waiting at the foot of the staircase, and as soon as I was down, she embraced me and buried her face in my hair.

"Please don't go, Alice." She begged for the countless time. She was begging in one final, feeble attempt. She knew I wasn't going to change my mind.

"I'm sorry Rosie." I sniffed, and my eyes hurt again. "I'll be in contact."

She pulled back and kissed my cheek. I closed my eyes as the pain became overwhelming, and my heart was about ready to burst. I loved Rosalie so very much but I hated how much she reminded me of Jasper. I squeezed her hands, and then I let her go.

Emmett hugged me as well. Like Rosalie, he asked me not to go. It was getting harder and harder to say no and it hurt worse every time I did it, but no amount of pleading was going to change my mind. I hugged Esme next, who was absolutely distraught. Her body racked with dry sobs and she too put her face in my hair. She was the worst to say no to, but I managed.

Once Esme let me go, I moved onto Carlisle. He took my hands in his, and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes and felt a hot rush of shame. I felt like I was betraying him somehow, and I got so close to staying, but every time I thought about staying I reminded myself of the reason I wanted to leave.

"There will always be a home for you here, with us." He breathed against my cheek, and I whimpered, throwing my arms around the only real father figure I've ever had in my life. I would never forget him, or any of them, no matter how many centuries I was away from them.

The last two I bade goodbye to were Bella and Edward. They waited for me at the front door. Edward's face was contorted with suppressed pain. He tried to put on a brave face for Bella, but as he saw me approach, his resolve cracked and some of his pain was slipping through.

I put my arms carefully around Bella, and kissed her cheek. If I had been human, she would have been strangling me with the amount of effort she was putting into it. I pulled back after a few minutes and saw tears dripping down her face.

_Oh Bella, you have no idea how lucky you are… _I thought sorrowfully, referring to her tears. Edward frowned. I wiped one of her tears away with the tip of my finger, and tried my best to give her an encouraging smile. She smiled weakly, embarrassed, and wiped the rest of them away herself.

Suddenly, I discovered how guilty I felt about leaving Bella just when she and Edward got engaged properly. I desperately wanted to stay and plan the wedding, and argue with Edward and Bella all day of it. The very thought of it alone was enough to bring a small smile to my face. But again, it wasn't enough to compel me to stay.

I made a vow to make it up to Edward and Bella somehow in the future.

"This isn't goodbye forever." I told her quietly; unsure of whether or not this was actually the truth. I threw a look at Edward too quickly for Bella to see. "This is just goodbye for a while."

"I wish there wasn't a goodbye at all." Bella whispered, her lips quivering.

I put her face between my hands.

"I love you Bella." I told her sincerely, smiling again. "I always will, no matter how many miles or years you put between us. I'll be in contact, okay?"

Bella scrunched her face up as more tears escaped, and she nodded her head furiously, staring at the floor. I closed my eyes as a vision I didn't want to see appeared in my head.

Me walking out the door. Bella leaning into Edward's chest and holding onto him for support, her frail shoulders shaking from her sobs. Rosalie doing the same with Emmett, and both Edward and Emmett looked beyond grief themselves. Carlisle stared at the floor as he made his way over to Esme, and put his arm around her waist, whispering soothing things to her as she stared longingly out the door.

I closed my eyes.

My final goodbye was probably the hardest of all. He just looked at me as I turned to him. Carefully, I wrapped my arms around him and leaned against him. He put his arms around me and leaned against my head.

_Edward, _I thought, so nobody else could hear. _If Bella asks, you have to tell her that what I said was true, about this not being goodbye forever. I don't know if it is or not. You know I can't take this anymore. I will miss you all horribly, but that doesn't change the fact that it will hurt me much more to stay. _

Edward nodded slowly, understanding.

_And Edward?_

He tilted his head slightly, as if to say 'Yeah?'

_I love you. Out of everyone in this family, I think you've always been the one I was closest to. Freaks among freaks, remember? You know I'm always going to be there for you and Bella when you need me, but for now, I need to be on my own. I don't know how long that means I'll be gone, or whether I will return at all. When Jasper died, it was the end of something. It was the end of the way I felt about life. And being here didn't make it better. I need to leave, to grow and heal but I've done all the healing I can with you and our family. And now comes the time for me to be alone. Please take care of everyone for me. I love you Edward Cullen, my brother. I always will._

"I love you too Alice." Edward murmured back to me, and he inhaled a sharp breath as he closed his eyes. I felt my heart twist and I knew that now was the time I had to go. Anymore goodbyes would just have been convincing myself to stay. Reluctantly, I let him go, and reached for the door handle.

Turning on my heel, I looked at everyone, and everyone looked back at me. I saw the misery and the longing they all had in their eyes, and I felt another rush of guilt. I smiled at everyone, but it was broken. My own sorrow was seeping through my calm and mature façade.

"I love you all." I told them. "And no matter how long I'm gone for, I will never forget any of you. You're my family, and you always will be."

My eyes darted to the ground, and with one final parting glance at everyone – I moved too quickly between them for me to read their expressions – I opened the front door and stepped outside. I walked down the front steps and onto the green grass.

I inhaled the atmosphere's scent, and strangely, despite all the hurt I had inside me, I felt a little freer. Now I was able to grieve and heal on my own without having to try to put on a brave face for anyone anymore. But this freedom feeling didn't even touch the rotting feeling I had inside of me.

_I'm sorry. _I thought, hoping Edward would hear me. He would.

I walked into the garage, and like I did with the house, I tried to absorb as many details of it as I could. I didn't want to forget anything while I was away. I ran my fingers over the surface of the tool bench and I felt my heartache even more. Small things I was going to miss along with the huge things.

Edward playing the piano. Rosalie arguing with Edward. The two of them tinkling with cars in this very garage. Esme's cleaning and baking habits, despite the fact that none of us could ever eat them. Carlisle's constant studying and his desire to know more, and the way he'd always try and spend as much time with each of us as possible. And Emmett and his broad smile and his playful manner… and his infantile bets with Jasper.

Thinking his name in such a casual way sent an electric shock through my body. In the last six months, every time I so much as thought his name, I'd always flinch. And I'd always feel like running away whenever someone tried to bring him up. After a while, they just stopped trying. And I was grateful for it.

Grabbing a hold of the Turbo's keys that hung on the key rack, I turned towards the car. The present from Edward. Like I did with the tool bench, I ran my hand across the sleek top of it.

Suddenly, the pain of losing my family hit me in a large blow and I realized exactly what I was doing and what was going to come of this.

_I'm gonna be all alone. _For the countless time in the last half a year, my eyes prickled. I tilted my head back and looked at the ceiling. I wondered where Jasper was now. I'd like to think he was in a heaven – I couldn't bear the thought of him not existing in some form or another.

I quickly got in my car, and my hands clutched the steering wheel. I leaned against the wheel, careful not to set the horn off.

_I love you Jazz. _I hoped he would hear this, wherever he was. _You know how much I do. And my God darling, I miss you so much. I wish you hadn't been stolen from me. And I know that you wouldn't want me to be doing this – going off and grieving on my own – but this is something I need to do. And it's time to let you go. I can't keep torturing myself like this anymore. I just can't. Please, forgive me. I love you but I gotta go on. That's what you'd want for me anyway, right? Oh Jasper. I love you. So much. I'm so sorry._

I let out a small sob and my face crumpled with ache as I turned the ignition on. I put my foot carefully on the pedal, and heard the engine rev.

_Please forgive me. _I begged silently, closing my eyes again briefly before I stepped on it, and before I knew it, I was driving far away as fast as I possibly could. I thought of nothing as I drove. I felt nothing. I felt dead. I kept driving faster and faster, in an attempt to escape.

But how long could I do this for?

---

_**Whoo. Chapter one is finished! I hope you all enjoyed it – mind you, this isn't even really the beginning, and future chapters will be longer than this. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to hit the review button and tell me what you thought!**_


	2. Chapter 2, Fall From Grace

**Notes: **Thanks for the reviews, people! I really appreciate it. Yeah I know this was a pretty quick update, but keep in mind, not all my updates will be this fast. I'll try my hardest but life can get pretty complicated at times so no guarantees that it will always be so quick. But like I said, I'll really try! Thanks again, and enjoy!

BTW, Nat, I'm thinking of you too. 3

**---**

_**Chapter 2, Fall From Grace**_

I drove for about three days straight and I wasn't even aware of where I was. I didn't care enough to check. All I knew was it was dark and I was in some run-down town with only a few houses, a gas station and a sleazy motel. A few of the residents – who looked rather dodgy – gawked at my car as I drove into the motel car park.

Of course I didn't actually need to sleep, but I needed to stop and think for a while. I had to check my phone, and check in with Edward like I promised to. I reminded myself to refill the gas before I took off again.

Approaching the front desk, I kept my eyes down and tried to blend in as much as possible. Of course that was hard. I was probably the only vampire in this backwoods town and I inevitably stood out. The person behind the desk was a young, pretty blonde who looked utterly bored.

Her face was a mask of pure shock as I drew closer. I tried not to let this bother me. Of course I was used to people staring and gawking and whispering behind their hands about me and my... family, but for some reason it bothered me even more than usual. Perhaps I was just irritable from all the different kinds of emotional aching that were going on inside my body.

I asked for a room – any room will do, and I used cash to pay for one night. I would be leaving the key on the front doorstep before dawn, anyway. I just needed time to think – even if it was just a few hours.

I took the key the young receptionist handed to me – her hands were shaking. I looked up at her and realized she looked terrified. I arched an eyebrow, and took the key with an appreciative smile, and a quiet "thanks".

"C-Check out time's at 10." She spoke nervously, before the phone rang. The relief was almost tangible as she answered it – an excuse to turn away from me. I couldn't understand her fear of me. But maybe people in this town were more perceptive than I gave them credit for. Maybe they sensed something was off about me.

Either way, it didn't matter. I would be gone before the sun rose tomorrow morning and they would never have to think of me again. I would just be a brief nightmare in their lives, and they would soon forget me.

I opened the door to the fourth room in the motel and stepped inside. It was exactly how I expected it to be. Cheap and filthy. What else did I expect for a room that cost 25 bucks for a night? I switched the light on, although I didn't really need it.

It took me all of half a second to scan the entire room and every single bit of filth there was in there. The TV was busted, and there was no food in the fridge. Not that I needed it, of course.

I turned and sat down on the bed. It squeaked slightly beneath the pressure my body applied to it. I placed my tiny silver phone beside my lap in preparation of ringing my estranged family.

_Not yet. _I sighed to myself. But I will.

Finally, it was time to get lost in thought, and despite the amount of hurt it gave me, I allowed myself to think the thoughts that cut as deep as any knife wound would that I forbade myself to think before.

_Jasper._

You know how they say, that in those final moments before your death, the entire world seems to slow down? As if it's some kind of sick joke, to prolong your death? To mock you with it? To make you stare death in the face and realize that you're going to die?

That was the same thing that happened to Jasper and I. Only, I wasn't the one who died. I wished I was. I would have given absolutely anything for it to have been me. Edward always told Bella that he couldn't live in a world where she didn't exist. That's what Jasper always told me too. But little did they know that the same applied to Bella and me as well.

_**I spun around just in time to see it. I whipped around, and saw Jasper face me at that exact same moment. His mouth twisted up slightly at the corners, as if he wanted to smile at me. I found myself smiling back at my beloved. It was wrong to be cocky, but it felt as if we could actually win this thing.**_

_**But suddenly, his face disappeared and new images played out in front of me. Jasper, smiling at me. And then he turns around in time just to be attacked by one of Victoria's army. The vampire was a large male, much, much bigger than my Jasper. He immediately starts ripping Jasper to bits, roaring with sadistic glee.**_

_**I just stood there.**_

_**Reality snapped back to me.**_

"_**Jasper!" My desperate plea gets lost somewhere in my throat, and all I can do is stare. My eyes widen in alarm. My mouth pops open in surprise. I could've stopped it. But I didn't. Not even vampiric speed made me move faster.**_

_**Just like my vision.**_

_**And then it happened, and it was too late. **_

_**I just stood there.**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**  
Jasper.**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**His name was the only thing that went through my mind.**_

"_**No."**_

_**And then, a sort of frenzy began. I felt my body almost spasm in unadulterated fury. I lurched myself with all my power at the vampire, and bite hard into his neck. He roars once more, but this time, it's in agony. He grabs a fistful of my hair and tries to pull me off, but he has no prevail. I don't even think about what I'm doing. I don't even really think about what is happening. Or what has happened.**_

_**I just bite, tear, and rip flesh off his body, using my teeth, my fingernails, anything I can.**_

_**And then it's over.**_

_**I turn to face what is left of my love. My legs get shaky and suddenly I can't hold myself up anymore. My knees buckled, and slowly, I fell to the ground. I can hear loud sobbing and screeching and I realize that it's coming from me. My fingers claw desperately at what's left of him, my body heaving, like I wanted to throw up. **_

_**There are a few moments of silence until I hear them. **_

_**Rosalie's scream. Emmett's roar. **_

_**Suddenly, someone is trying to pick me up. I try to put up a fight but it was useless. I was being held like a toddler against someone's body, being carried swiftly away. My cheek was pressed firmly against the person's bronze hair. **_

_**Edward.**_

_**It's Edward.**_

_**I hold him tightly, my body lurching with my tearless sobbing. I'm shaking. My head is going to explode. I'm going to die. I'm going to die. I just hold Edward tightly as images of Jasper and I flicker through my head. My thoughts are helter-skelter. I can't make sense of any of them. **_

_**All I can see is his face in my mind.**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**Jasper.**_

_**Oh my God.**_

Reality snapped back to me like a slap in the face, and I realized that I was curled up into a little ball on the bed, uncontrollable sobs racking my tiny frame. The pain inside me was absolute torture. It burned my heart and I found myself gasping for air I didn't need.

He was gone.

He was really gone.

And now I was all alone.

It's too much. I can't take this. I buried my face further in my knees as my sobs just got louder, in an attempt to muffle them. Three hours passed and all I could do was cry. And then, I just stopped, and I laid there.

I closed my eyes and tried to pretend I could sleep. I imagined lying on my soft bed back at home. Edward was with Bella, Carlisle was studying, and Esme was cleaning and baking simultaneously. I pretended I could hear Emmett screaming at a make-believe football match on TV and I could hear the clunking of gears as Rosalie fiddled with the cars downstairs.

Most importantly, I pretended I could feel Jasper lie on the bed beside me, wrap his arms around my waist and hold me close to his lean body. My eyes tightened as I imagined him placing a kiss on the back of my neck, sending a shiver down my spine. I smiled.

"I love you." He whispered to me, and my eyes flew open in shock.

He was really gone. I repeated this to myself, and slowly I sat up. I could hear the tiny silver phone vibrate loudly beside me, and my eyes flickered immediately to the front to see who was calling.

It was Edward.

My hands actually shaking, I took a hold of the phone, opened it, and pressed it to my ear.

"Alice?" Edward's voice was relieved on the other line.

"Yes, Edward." I replied, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. "I'm okay. I'm sorry I forgot to call. I've just been a bit… busy." My eyes squinted in concentration as I was still lost in my thoughts, and the shock of the idea that came to me as I imagined Jasper here with me was still heavy in effect.

"It's alright. We just got a bit worried… you know." From the way Edward was speaking to me so kindly and not with a hint of annoyance in his voice, it was obvious that he missed me. But he wasn't going to say it out loud. Old Mr Poker face.

Bella must be there with him.

"I understand, and I apologized." My voice was still accidentally detached – it was obvious I was paying attention to something else. And since Edward couldn't read thoughts over the phone, I was able to get away with these particular thoughts.

Jasper and I reunited again.

Just like he wanted to be with Bella when he thought she'd died so many months ago. But then it turned out he didn't have to die to be reunited with her after all. But that was different, I told myself. Jasper wasn't going to come running after me. He was definitely dead. Thinking this caused another hole to be drilled into my heart. He was dead because I saw him die with my own two eyes.

I couldn't even believe I was thinking of this, and I was even more horrified that the thought of doing what Edward had brought me some kind of peace. Some kind of relief.

I blinked a few times.

Was I really going to do this?

Jasper's face flashed through my mind, and all the times we spent together, and everything we shared.

Yes.

Yes I was.

"Edward…" I began, clearing my throat to show him I was back from my reverie now. "May I please speak to Bella?"

Edward was quiet over the other side.

"Why do you want to speak to Bella, Alice?" Edward was cautious.

_Don't give yourself away. _A voice inside my head hissed.

"I have my reasons, Edward." I paused. "I miss her, and I know she misses me too. Now pass the phone over."

Edward went silent, before I heard him whisper something to Bella. I heard some muffling back, and finally the phone was passed over and Bella spoke.

"Alice?"

"Isabella." I breathed contently, closing my eyes. "Hello."

"Oh, Alice I miss you so much." Her voice broke. "Have you decided when you're going to come home yet?"

I felt a large lump form in my throat and I tried not to let myself feel guilty about what I was going to do.

_Think about it this way. _That same voice inside my head spoke to me. _In a way, you'd be doing them and yourself a favor. You wouldn't burden them any longer, or cause them anymore pain. And you'd be with Jasper again. Everybody will be happy. You'll be better off this way._

"No, Bells, I haven't decided when I'm coming home… because I'm not going to."

There was a shocked silence over the line.

"You're… not… coming home?" Bella breathed. "Ever?"

"Ever again." It hurt me to hurt Bella and my family this way, but like my subconscious told me… we'd all be better off. "Because… because I'm gonna go be with Jasper."

"Alice!" Bella gasped. "What are you saying? Jasper is dead – wha- what do you mean?"

"Bella, hand me the phone." I heard Edward demand over the other line, but Bella ignored him.

"Bella, you of all people should know how I feel right now." I sighed and bowed my head. "You remember all those months without Edward – but at least you knew he was alive, out there, somewhere. And a part of you knew he would return to you one day, that's why you heard those voices inside your head. How would you feel, if you knew Edward was never going to come back? That there was no chance of him ever coming back… because he didn't exist anymore?

"That's how I feel Bella. You said it yourself; you can't live in a world where Edward doesn't exist. I can't live in a world where Jasper doesn't exist. And I tried, okay? I really tried. For half a year I tried, which is the same amount of time you spent without Edward. And now I realize… I can't handle it. This pain I feel is never going to subside. It won't fade away; no matter how much time you give it.

"And that's why… I'm going to the Volturi." I bit my bottom lip. "And I'm going to ask to die."

"The Volturi?!" Bella squeaked, but she couldn't get another word out. Edward had the phone again, and he was furious.

"Alice, don't you dare." Edward's voice was as cold as ice and as dangerous as the sound of a snake hissing.

A new emotion made itself known inside me. Rage.

"Don't you _dare _tell me what I can and cannot do, Edward Cullen." I made my voice as thin and as icy as his. "So you're the only one who's allowed to sacrifice yourself in the name of love? Don't you dare be a hypocrite!"

"Alice." His furious persona was gone now. He was pleading with me. Begging. "Please don't do this. Please."

"It's too late." I spoke quietly. "I've already made up my mind."

"No, it's not too late!" Ahh, the anger was back. He was shouting now. "Don't do this Alice! We will come to Volterra and we will stop you! We will not let you do this to yourself! Jasper wouldn't want you to do this."

My eyes narrowed to the point of slits. How low it was, to use Jasper as a way to try and convince not to do this.

"Well, Bella would've have wanted you to go to the Volturi, but you did anyway. So you could be reunited with her. And now I get to be reunited with Jazz. And I won't be some loathsome burden to you – any of you – anymore."

"You're not a burden, Alice!" It hurt me how Edward continued to beseech. Why couldn't he just accept the fact that no matter what he said I wasn't going to change my mind? "We love you. I love you. Bella loves you – please, please we can't lose you like we lost Jasper! It'll kill all of us – we can't go through something like that again! Alice!"

My eyes stung and my heart was going to explode. But I ignored this feeling – I was used to ignoring feelings by now. I remained disconnected… uncaring.

"Tell everybody I love them." Those were my parting words. "And I love you, Edward. And Bella. Tell them for me."

"We're not going to let you do this." Edward growled, and suddenly, he sounded so sure of this it was hard to doubt him. "We're going to go to Volterra and stop you. We'll hold you down if we have to but we will not let you kill yourself."

My mouth twisted up into a grimace.

_Why won't you just let me go? I'm a caged bird – I want to be freed._

"Catch me if you can." I whispered, and snapped the phone shut.

---

_**Oooh cliffy. Well not really, if you read the chapter summary. But still, there are so many questions on your mind, right? Oh yeah, that's what I'm aiming for… coz I'm evil. Well, there's only one way to find out. Click "Review" – they are what keep me going! Thanks again for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!**_

_**Oh, and don't fret too much about Demetri's appearance – he's coming next chapter. :) **_


	3. Chapter 3, When in Rome

**Notes: **To the reviewer who said they would have a difficult time reading a story where Jasper's dead, I completely agree. Trust me; this is really hard to write. I love Jasper; I'm IN love with Jasper. :( And I don't like the idea of him being dead, but unfortunately it was necessary for this story.

**---**

_**Chapter 3, When in Rome…**_

I was extremely aware of how little time I had left. If I was going to make it to Volterra before my family did and since they had access to planes they had the upper hand, I had to leave – and I had to leave now.

I escaped the room, grabbing my phone and snapping it in half and throwing it in the rubbish bin. I didn't bother to turn the light off. I threw the key in front of the lobby door. Thankfully it was pitch black with only one street light on, so nobody saw my incredible throw from thirty meters away.

_I can't believe I'm doing this! _I screamed at my subconscious. _This is crazy! Why am I doing this? Edward's right… this will only cause my family more grief. I owe more to them. I owe them more than this. _

_At what expense? _That other voice inside me yelled. _Your happiness? Your sanity? You may owe them more but above all they owe you. And if this is something that's going to stop the pain finally, and allow you be to be with Jasper, then what kind of family are they for trying to keep you in this pain?_

_They care about me enough not to want me dead. _I thought desolately. I came back from my thoughts and realized once more than I was driving. To the nearest airport. I looked at signs as I drove and I discovered that I was in Canada, and the closest airport was in Halifax, Nova Scotia which was 70 miles away. I smiled to myself. I could make it.

If I ditched my car somewhere safe where Edward would probably find it later and took a plane from Halifax to Paris, then from there I could arrive in Rome by plane once more, steal a car and drive to Volterra.

I made the calculations in my head. Getting to Halifax would take me a maximum of maybe 20 minutes, maybe less. The plane ride from Halifax to Paris would be around 15 hours. And from Paris to Rome would only be around 2-3 hours, 4 at the very most, and then from Rome upwards to Volterra would take me, by car, only an hour.

In all, at the very most it would take me 20 hours and 20 minutes to get to Volterra.

Now my family…

They would immediately take a plane from Seattle – it would take them half an hour to get to Seattle from Forks. I closed my eyes and had a vision to foil their plan. They would go from Seattle to Charlotte in North Carolina, which is cross country so approximately twelve hours. Across the North Atlantic Ocean to France also, and then to Italy. I calculated all this in my head, and finally I had an exact estimate.

I had an hour and thirty five minutes more than they did.

I sighed. That was probably enough time for them to learn that I was dead and it was too late, and that they'll return to Forks and get on with their lives.

Finally, as I expected, 20 minutes later I was in Halifax. I pulled over to a place in the woods, quite deep in and hid the car in shrubbery. From the glove box, I pulled out a note pad and a black ink pen and I wrote a message for my family.

_**Edward **_I wrote on the outside.

_I love you._

_Please forgive me._

_Alice. Xox_

It was a poor excuse for a goodbye, but it was the best I could do with what little time I had. I pressed a kiss to the note, leaving a lipstick mark and I placed it underneath the seat. Getting out of the car, admittedly I had a hard time leaving the car. It just meant so much to me. I pat the bonnet of the car and turned my back to it, running as fast as I possibly could in the direction of the airport.

---

I got to the airport in less than five minutes, and thankfully the flight they had going to Paris still had empty seats on it. The woman who supplied me with a ticket obviously thought it was odd that I wanted to travel such a long distance, paid in cash and no luggage to speak of.

But she didn't question it. She just handed me the ticket and gave me a sugary "Have a nice flight!"

I made myself sit as still as inhumanely possible, and people who passed noticed my stillness. But I didn't really care. Instead I kept my focus on my family, and whether or not they found any shortcuts that would put them ahead of me.

They hadn't. They were still taking the way I had predicted them too. I fought the urge to sigh, and I was irritated with the small part of me that was hoping they would intercede in time. What if I was making a huge mistake? Jasper wouldn't want this. This was stupid.

But every time I tried to talk myself out of doing what I was attempting to do, that snapping voice inside my head came back, and always out argued me. After that, I decided to just sit in silence and not try anymore. It didn't do me any good to argue. It would only emotionally drain me, and I needed as much of my influence as possible if I was going to convince the Volturi to kill me.

Thankfully, a little while later, a voice came over the PA and announced the flight to Paris, France. I was the first one up and in the plane.

---

I looked longingly out the plane windows at all the lights of Paris. I remembered the time Jasper and I were in Paris. It wasn't long after we first met up in Philadelphia, and he was still learning how to feed from animals instead of humans.

I smiled as I recalled how frustrated he had been. But he was willing to make the effort – it was hard for him, but he tried. And I had been so proud of him.

The grief came back, and I leaned back against the seat. Would thinking about Jasper ever get easier? Or would thinking about him always feel like I've just shot a ten inch nail into my heart?

I waited for the pilot to announce we were descending into Paris, before I concentrated once more on what my family was up to. Turns out, everyone was going to Volterra to try and stop me – I was rather shocked at that. Bella was left behind, however. I assumed it was because Edward wouldn't want her anywhere near the Volturi…

Not when she was supposed to be immortal around now. That was just asking for death.

Kinda like I was…

But besides Bella, everyone was going. Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie and Emmett. They'd also called up Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen and Eleazar and asked them to try and make it to Volterra as well.

_Great. _I thought sourly. _Now I have to outrun both of my families._

Currently Carlisle and everyone were on a plane also, but they were a few hours behind me. They had a while to go before they got to Paris. I would be there in less than four minutes.

Sighing, I bowed my head and tried to absorb everything about being alive before it was all over.

---

I stayed on the plane with only a handful of people who were going to Rome. It seemed to take forever for the other passengers to board and I was getting quite anxious for a while there, considering my family weren't too far behind. I sighed loudly in relief when people stared to board.

---

It took three hours to get to Rome.

I got off the plane and tried to keep a steady pace. I was in Italy. Volterra was only an hour away, at the rate I drove. It was so close. I felt that lump in my throat again. And if it were possible, I wanted to be sick.

But I kept reminding myself that I wouldn't feel a thing, and that I would be with Jasper. It was worth it, in the end, wasn't it?

The terminal was positively busy. It was sunset, and everyone was scattering, either to board flights or find their loved ones in the swarm. I brushed past people, trying to keep to myself as much as possible.

And then I smelt the scent of a vampire, and I panicked.

Should I run? I wasn't close enough to tell if it was one of my families or not. How could they have gotten here so quickly? How was I going to outrun _all_ of them? In a alarm I tried to push myself further through the crowds, for the front door.

It wasn't until I bumped into somebody hard enough that it would've shattered every bone in that person's rib cage… if they had been human, did I realize that I was actually heading in the direction of the scent.

I had bumped into them!

I was doomed.

All that effort, for nothing.

Now I was going to have to stay alive… and live with this pain.

I wanted to scream in fury and anguish. My knees threatened to give way.

And then I finally found out that the scent didn't belong to a member of my family. But it was a scent I recognized from a while ago.

In shock, I realized I was face-to-face with one of the Volturi members themselves – Demetri. The tracker. His expression was irritated, but it was wiped clean off his face when he saw exactly who it was that he bumped into.

"Alice Cullen?" he hissed, his burgundy eyes staring into my honey ones. My eyes widened in disbelief, and soon we found ourselves just looking at each other, not noticing the busy crowd that fumbled around us.

Neither of us knew what to think of this act of serendipity. Well, I thought of it that way. Fate. I was meant to do this. Of course he had no idea what I was doing, so he just thought it was coincidence…

Of all the luck, I thought bleakly.

"Hello, Demetri." I said with a pleasant smile.

---

***cheeky grin* told you he was gonna appear in this chapter. Seriously, is anyone else just awed at the hotness of the actor who's gonna play Demetri? It's amazing. Seriously. Okay I'm gonna stop babbling now. Please review, and thanks for reading! Xo BTW, if there are any spelling errors, I apologize. This was written while I was rather tired. :D **


End file.
